"it" just moved
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
