Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
