Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
