therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
