You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I cockslap morals
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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