I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
