She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
