im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
