I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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