Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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