we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
