ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
