dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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