Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
