Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
