Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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