i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
