The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
