Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
did i walk over a car last night?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
