Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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