Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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