I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it's great music for shaving your balls
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
