trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
