my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
