Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
