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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Couch. On fire.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
