I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just cropdusted the office
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
