so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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