my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
