We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
