Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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