Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
