if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
