My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Watching her eat just hurts me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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