the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I didn't notice because vodka
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
