I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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