that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
