Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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