This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
