and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We need to get me chipped asap
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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