I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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