I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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