You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
