Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
