Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
