Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
