WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
