I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
