So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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