And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
