Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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